Camera Armor
Download & Watch Free Online Armored 2009
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The mark of a good trailer is that it tells the basic story of the movie it’s selling and gives just enough to entice the audience to want to see more. The trailer for Armored, on the other hand, gives the entire movie away from beginning to end. This could be blamed on the folks who cut the trailer, but really it’s because there isn’t enough story in Armored to fill an entire movie. There’s only enough to fill a two-minute trailer.
A seasoned team of drivers of an armored truck company (Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Skeet Ulrich, Amaury Nolasco) stage a hijacking of two of their trucks with hopes of walking away with over $40 million free and clear. The paper-thin plan goes amiss when 1) a homeless man sees them stashing the cash, 2) the new guy to the team (Columbus Short) grows a conscience and wants to back out of the deal, and 3) a random cop (Milo Ventimiglia) investigates a noise and catches them red-handed. Pondering questions of what’s right and wrong, who’s good or bad, and how stupid the filmmakers think the audience must be to buy this pile of garbage are asked throughout.
There are so many problems with Armored, it’s hard to know where to begin. The cast and the director are surely to blame, but the biggest blame has to go to the writer, James V. Simpson. We’ll get to that in a moment. First, let’s take a look at the cast. There is no denying that Armored has a great cast, with the likes of Dillon, Fishburne, Reno, Ventimiglia, and the great Fred Ward. These guys are well-established actors who have proven they can pull their weight in front of the camera. But not here. Instead, they simply showed up, gave some grim looks, delivered a line or two, stumbled around one of the film’s three set locations, then went home. The incredible talent in Armored was completely wasted on just about every level imaginable, which begs the question: Since the actors obviously didn’t care about this movie, how do they expect the audience to?
Director Nimrod Antal was behind the surprisingly decent horror flick Vacancy, but he brought nothing to the table here. The cinematography, the weakly orchestrated action sequences, and the unraveling storyline couldn’t hold the attention span of even the most patient moviegoer. The film lacks direction, style, and any reason to care about the characters. You would think a heist movie with big armored trucks crashing into each other with a cast of established actors would be somewhat interesting, but sadly, no, it’s not.
Which brings me to the primary reason why Armored is one of the worse movies of 2009: the script. The story is predictable, the characters are bland and unlikable, and the dialogue is downright silly. The plan to hijack the trucks is as simple as “we stash the cash, torch the trucks, say we got hijacked, and stick to our story.” That’s it. And they wonder how their “plan” goes so wrong so quickly.
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Camera armor: Imaging Resource at Photokina 2008
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